Sophie at Seven Weeks, Almost

Sophie is about to turn seven weeks old.  Sometimes seven weeks feels like she’s been here just seven seconds, sometimes it feels like seven years.

To begin, we love our daughter.  She’s a happy, healthy baby, enjoying her life as a happy, healthy baby.  In life, health is not always granted, and we feel blessed knowing Sophie has so far been able to grow as she should. 

That being said, I have to be honest and admit I didn’t have the “love overflows within me immediately” moment. Many friends told me this immense love washed over them as soon as they heard the baby’s first cry.  For Amanda and I, one of the most real conversations we’ve ever had came when we admitted both of us were still growing to love Sophie.  Were there times early on I thought, well if for some reason Beyonce wanted to come raise our child, Amanda and I could go back to normal? Yes, there were. I never seriously wanted that, but it did enter my mind.

Now, everything’s changed. I find myself absolutely in love with her.  We were on a walk yesterday, and I found myself just kissing her forehead over and over again.  She’s so cute and precious and wonderful and ... see, that overflow of love is there.

Here are few of the ups and downs that brought us to where we are now seven weeks in.

People always say parenting will change your life and that it’s really hard.  Hearing that though, and actually going through it are very different things. We tried to prepare ourselves, but truthfully, there’s no preparation for the lack of sleep and the full on effect taking care of a newborn has.

Let’s start with Sleep and it’s related friend, Breastfeeding.  For the first few weeks, we couldn’t sleep for more than 3 hours at a time.  Amanda and I had committed to breastfeeding, and we were doing our best to feed “on demand” as many of the classes and books suggested.  What we didn’t realize is how dang hard it would be! 

I’d assumed since the pregnancy had gone so smoothly, the birth was very good, breastfeeding would come naturally as well.  Unfortunately, not everything went to plan.  Despite Amanda feeling pain during pretty much every feeding, we tried to stay with it exclusively for the first few weeks. Amanda was getting almost no sleep, because even after we put the baby back down at night, she was anxious about the next feeding. At about the 2 and a half week mark, we started introducing bottles.  No, this wasn’t part of the plan, but it seemed like a must to us.  Since then, things have gotten much easier. Not only could I help out more significantly with the feedings, but so could family members and friends. (One of the best parts was while Amanda’s mom was in town, she took the baby for a night in the living room, just so we could get a full night’s rest.)

We’ve now moved exclusively to bottle feeding, while also supplementing with formula.  There’s another big word, formula.  I’m not sure what my hold up was about it, but in my head, using formula felt like failure. That’s foolish of course, because you never meet someone and say, “Oh, you can tell he was totally formula fed.”  And you’ve heard the saying, a fed baby is all that matters.  That’s proven to be true.  Amanda is sleeping more, the baby is sleeping more and so am I.  At least at night that is. 

Everyone told us beforehand, sleep when the baby sleeps.  That’s easy to say, but during the day it can be harder to accomplish.  Sometimes Sophie sleeps for two or three hours, sometimes she sleeps for 15 minutes.  Amanda is doing her best to squeeze in cat naps when she can.

Sleep and breastfeeding were the major hurdles.  Now that we’ve reached a happy routine for us, everything is going more smoothly.

Side note, I'm writing this on one of my few off days.  Thankfully, my work was cooperative with me and let me build up my vacation time to use once the baby arrived.  That being said, I hate there's no paternity leave. It has hurt me leaving Amanda with the baby, while I go to work. Amanda has handled the challenge though. Like our doctor told us, she's doing multiple jobs for the baby: she's the cook, she's the maid, she's the teacher ... she's mom.

Overall, it feels like Sophie wants these very common baby things: eat, sleep, have someone change diapers, be held and be in motion.  One side benefit, I’m meeting more and more neighbors! At any time during the day, you might find me walking the hallways, baby in arm, trying to calm her or rock her to sleep.  My mother-in-law started the walking-soothing technique for us, and I’ve enjoyed carrying it on.  Sophie is enamored with the hallway lights, plus I enjoy playing country music songs for her while walking at 3 AM! (I like to think of “Wanna Be That Song,” by Brett Eldredge as our song)

Emotionally, for both Amanda and me, there’s been moments of doubt, even sadness, but then there’s the great joys as well.  For example, when Sophie has the milk drunk face.  Or, how about the first time I got to take Sophie in the baby bjorn and walk her around the block with Bali!  Yes, part of me was just proud I figured out how to actually use the bjorn!!!

Bali has been a great big sister so far.  While she doesn’t get the same attention she used to, we’re making concerted efforts to show her we love her as well.  She’s great with the baby, checking on Sophie when she cries. Plus, now Bali gets to sleep in the bed with Mommy and Daddy!  In the middle of the night when we’re trying to go back to sleep, having our fur baby is just so comforting. 

Through all of it, the baby acne, the poop explosions through her diaper, Sophie’s piercing cry when she got her vaccinations, etc, we’ve tried to appreciate this early time, because we know it goes fast. Then again, I’m happy to have passed the six week threshold.  Everyday will provide new fun moments and new challenges.  The good news is we’ve had immense support from family and friends. 

I know for many of us, it feels like there’s a lot of darkness in the world right now. Sophie is  the light for Amanda and me.  We want to show her by being kind, loving and helpful to others, we’re making a better life for her. We can’t fix the world, but we can make a difference in the lives around us. And who knows, maybe Sophie will want to be President one day!

Sophie's Grand Arrival

First off, Amanda is absolutely, incredible! My love for her is as deep as it gets.

Wanted to take some time to write down how Sophie Jessica Rosenhouse made her way into the world.

Well, she took her sweet time, not caring what her "due date" was. She didn't see the eviction notice in the womb, I guess.

After having Chinese food for dinner Saturday, it turned out four days of extra stay would be long enough for our little girl. Amanda woke me up around 1:15 AM.

"I think my water broke, I'm gonna call the doctor," she said.

She'd been timing her contractions, and it felt like they'd become more consistent and intense. The doctor told us to come in.

With our "go bag" already in the car, we made quick calls to our parents and drove to the hospital. Whether it was a false alarm or not, we didn't know yet, but still, I knew this was the right move either way.

We got to the hospital around 2 AM and after some tests and contraction measurements, the nurse told us we wouldn't be leaving without a baby! "Okay, it's really go time," I thought to myself.

Watching Amanda go through the pain of contractions was tough. I felt helpless, even though I was trying my best to comfort her.

Thankfully, the anesthesiologist arrived quickly and the epidural made Amanda feel much, much better. My parents got to the hospital and wished us well, before we took naps, knowing Amanda would really need her strength for what was to come.

Amanda's Aunt Sharon arrived around 8:15 with a beautiful baby mum the Rudes made. See, I love the mums!

Well, around 9:45ish, the doctor came in to check on Amanda and told us she was ready to start pushing!

Now here's what I didn't realize, a lot of the helping work would be done by the labor nurse and myself, with of course Amanda as the driving force. With us holding her legs, Amanda would make three, ten second pushes, each time helping the baby move further and further down.

Around 10:30, the nurse (who by the way was wearing a Texans shirt because it was Sunday-I'm sure JJ Watt would love that) predicted the baby would be out by 11! As I jokingly said to Amanda, "it's less time than a John Oliver show to go."

A series of pushes later and then it all became very real. We could start to see the head!

Side note: for the longest time during pregnancy, my plan was to stay "north of the border" during labor and delivery. Well, that plan quickly went out the door, and in hindsight, I'm glad it did. Seeing this all was helpful for me in comforting and motivating Amanda. Also, there literally is nothing else like it.

Back to the story. Amanda was doing great: good breathing, then pushing, some quick chewing of ice chips and then back to breathing, pushing, repeat. More and more, the baby's head was showing.

Around 10:50 or so, the nurse brought the doctor in. Unfortunately, Dr. Pinell, who was our doctor throughout the pregnancy, was out of town Saturday and Sunday (Murphy's Law some might say).  Fortunately, his partner, Dr. Maccatto, is just as well liked around the hospital.

The doctor came in, and quickly he was in position, saying "push, push, push" in his interesting accent.

Now, here comes the big moment, and it went in a flash.  The doctor said on her next series of pushes, our baby would be out. That turned out to be true!

Finally, I realized why people had been saying the doctor would "catch the baby."  First, the baby's head squeezed out with her face pointing in my direction, then the rest of her body just seemed to slide out into the world!

Amanda was crying tears of joy, and I was right there with her.

There she was, a baby, quickly cleaned off in a matter of seconds. I cut the umbilical cord, and the baby was brought to her mom's chest.

Through the tears, Amanda said "come here Sophie," and it all came together in an instant.  She was born at 11:04 AM, Sunday, September 25, 2016. All in all, from telling me her water broke until the birth, it was about 10 hours.

From there it was a bit of a whirlwind. Amanda was so tired and immediately my thoughts started going into more of, how do I protect her, more than being focused on the baby.

We called her parents and let them know they were officially now grandparents to Sophie Jessica Rosenhouse. They liked how the name was easy to say. From there, I walked with a pep in my step to the waiting area to tell my parents and Bonkie. An added benefit, my brother Evan was already on the phone with them. I made a call to my brother David and then returned to Amanda.

She was focusing on the first hour, skin to skin time with Sophie, as this is the encouraged way to help Amanda bond and start creating milk.

We moved into the postpartum room. I don't want to write all about this part, mostly because at first I was kind of disappointed. It really felt like we were brought to the room and then basically told, "call us if you need us."

We didn't get too much advice or instruction on how to do anything really. I felt lost and totally unsure of myself. Some might say, welcome to parenting, but that wasn't a feeling I enjoyed.

As the day went on, we figured out the system a bit more, and again the protection feeling to get Amanda recovering well was very active.

We slept when we could and then started a new day. "Remember, one day at a time," I kept thinking to myself.

The rest of the time in the hospital continued with more ups and downs. That's just gonna be the way it goes for a while (or maybe forever). In the end, we'll just do our best to act in love and make the choices that feel right.

Thank you to everyone for the love and support you've given. Having the baby is really a blessing, and it will continue to shape our lives going forward :)

-- Sophie's daddy

Less than a month until Baby Girl Rosenhouse

Well, it’s official - we’re now less than a month away from the due date for Baby Girl Rosenhouse.

Each day we get closer, everything becomes more real.  For the first half of the pregnancy, my mind wasn’t all consumed by it, if we’re being truthful.  I know for Amanda, it was much more present. Then again, she was the one growing a baby inside of her!  Since entering the last trimester, the mental preparation, nervousness and dreams have all moved to the forefront personally. 

Just wanted to write out a few thoughts before the world changes forever.

It’s been beautiful to watch Amanda during the pregnancy.  She’s handled it incredibly well, and even in the tough times, our connection has been strong. 

As far as our preparations, I like to say if we want our apartment to be 90% ready and organized on the day the baby comes (we hear you can never be fully prepared), right now we’d only be about 30%.  There’s a lot of work to be done, but each day we seem to be accomplishing something that will hopefully make our lives easier later on. 

We’ve now started going to the doctor once a week per his request. It’s nothing out of the norm, just the way he likes to do it.  Dr. Pinell has so far been excellent for us, calmly answering all our questions and getting us ready for the big day.  Each time, he does a sonogram so he can check the heartbeat.  Side note: The two most memorable were the first time when we heard the heart beat for the first time, and the second was when he told us it’d be a girl.  I’ll always remember holding Amanda’s ankle and seeing her cry with happiness when she realized it’d be a girl. Of course, me being a weeper, I quickly had to wipe my eyes.

Parenting prep wise, we’re midway through a Jewish Baby University class we’re taking through the Federation in Houston.  So far, it’s been a great way to be around people going through the same things we are.  Each week, there’s a mix of baby preparation and religious learning going.  It’s been something we look forward to and hopefully that continues! 

Overall, I feel pretty good about everything. Of course, I absolutely have the fear of the unknown, unsure what it will be like when we actually have to start parenting, but that’s natural.  Amanda and I agree that we’ll make mistakes, but that’s all part of the process.  Every kid in the world has had imperfect parents. It’s just about doing the best you can.

On that note, I frequently ask people to give me pieces of parenting advice or more specifically, ask them to share with me one thing they wish they would have known. 

Here are some favorites:

Try to enjoy every moment, because they go by so quickly.  A big part of this is also to try and enjoy the tough times.  No one likes getting little sleep, but try and appreciate those early days because they fly by.  What’s interesting about this is people point out the kid is constantly evolving, so you have to take to heart each day, because the next one brings about a different version. 

Take it one day at a time.  Yes, this is very much the “coach speak” I don’t enjoy during my job, but it seems to be a good way of looking at this.  Step 1, get through day one, and then after that go to day two, three, four and so one.  It’s simple, but I like it.

You can’t make a mistake, if you’re doing something out of love. This one follows the path of you’ll make mistakes, but don’t see them as failures, more as learning experiences.

Spend as much time as you can with your kids. This one came from our Rabbi, who basically explained, with as quickly as the kids grow, you’ll want to be a part of as many moments as they can, especially early on. He also added, work and jobs will be there and your best memories often don’t come from work, but with family. Having time with your kids decreases as they become older and start shaping their own lives, so try to take advantage early on. Others have also stressed the importance of putting family before career.  It’s always a tough balance to find, but I already feel like that’s sinking in.

Enjoy helping craft a human being! This came from multiple people who talked about what it’s like once the baby and then eventually, the kid, starts to show their personality.   It’s cool to see how what you’ve tried to instill in them comes through, but how they also have a mind of their own.  On that note, realize the kid is always watching and seeing how you act in the world. 

There’s been many more people talking about the immense love we’ll feel, how a feeling of protection immediately flows over you. Also, everyone tells us to bank as much as sleep as we can now (I promise we’re trying to!). 

We’ll leave it there for now.  Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive. I’m sure we’ll look for your help many times in the adventure ahead :)

Michael