Each day we get closer, everything becomes more real. For the first half of the pregnancy, my mind wasn’t all consumed by it, if we’re being truthful. I know for Amanda, it was much more present. Then again, she was the one growing a baby inside of her! Since entering the last trimester, the mental preparation, nervousness and dreams have all moved to the forefront personally.
Just wanted to write out a few thoughts before the world changes forever.
It’s been beautiful to watch Amanda during the pregnancy. She’s handled it incredibly well, and even in the tough times, our connection has been strong.
As far as our preparations, I like to say if we want our apartment to be 90% ready and organized on the day the baby comes (we hear you can never be fully prepared), right now we’d only be about 30%. There’s a lot of work to be done, but each day we seem to be accomplishing something that will hopefully make our lives easier later on.
We’ve now started going to the doctor once a week per his request. It’s nothing out of the norm, just the way he likes to do it. Dr. Pinell has so far been excellent for us, calmly answering all our questions and getting us ready for the big day. Each time, he does a sonogram so he can check the heartbeat. Side note: The two most memorable were the first time when we heard the heart beat for the first time, and the second was when he told us it’d be a girl. I’ll always remember holding Amanda’s ankle and seeing her cry with happiness when she realized it’d be a girl. Of course, me being a weeper, I quickly had to wipe my eyes.
Parenting prep wise, we’re midway through a Jewish Baby University class we’re taking through the Federation in Houston. So far, it’s been a great way to be around people going through the same things we are. Each week, there’s a mix of baby preparation and religious learning going. It’s been something we look forward to and hopefully that continues!
Overall, I feel pretty good about everything. Of course, I absolutely have the fear of the unknown, unsure what it will be like when we actually have to start parenting, but that’s natural. Amanda and I agree that we’ll make mistakes, but that’s all part of the process. Every kid in the world has had imperfect parents. It’s just about doing the best you can.
On that note, I frequently ask people to give me pieces of parenting advice or more specifically, ask them to share with me one thing they wish they would have known.
Here are some favorites:
Try to enjoy every moment, because they go by so quickly. A big part of this is also to try and enjoy the tough times. No one likes getting little sleep, but try and appreciate those early days because they fly by. What’s interesting about this is people point out the kid is constantly evolving, so you have to take to heart each day, because the next one brings about a different version.
Take it one day at a time. Yes, this is very much the “coach speak” I don’t enjoy during my job, but it seems to be a good way of looking at this. Step 1, get through day one, and then after that go to day two, three, four and so one. It’s simple, but I like it.
You can’t make a mistake, if you’re doing something out of love. This one follows the path of you’ll make mistakes, but don’t see them as failures, more as learning experiences.
Spend as much time as you can with your kids. This one came from our Rabbi, who basically explained, with as quickly as the kids grow, you’ll want to be a part of as many moments as they can, especially early on. He also added, work and jobs will be there and your best memories often don’t come from work, but with family. Having time with your kids decreases as they become older and start shaping their own lives, so try to take advantage early on. Others have also stressed the importance of putting family before career. It’s always a tough balance to find, but I already feel like that’s sinking in.
Enjoy helping craft a human being! This came from multiple people who talked about what it’s like once the baby and then eventually, the kid, starts to show their personality. It’s cool to see how what you’ve tried to instill in them comes through, but how they also have a mind of their own. On that note, realize the kid is always watching and seeing how you act in the world.
There’s been many more people talking about the immense love we’ll feel, how a feeling of protection immediately flows over you. Also, everyone tells us to bank as much as sleep as we can now (I promise we’re trying to!).
We’ll leave it there for now. Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive. I’m sure we’ll look for your help many times in the adventure ahead :)
Michael
