A Year and A Week

Hold up, Sophie is already a year old?!?!? Amanda waking me up in the middle of the night to tell me she thought her water broke feels like just yesterday. Which is funny because I remember when Sophie was a newborn everyone was telling us how fast it would go and yet in the moment, it felt so slow and hard. Guess what? All these other parents were right, and the time did start to fly.


On that note, let's check in on some of the highlights from Sophie's last three months.

Sophie Standing

Crawling is still the little girl's main mode of transportation, but now she has officially stood up. Okay, she's still very new to it, but we've seen her stand on her own for up to 8 seconds!

Before, she could stand up with the help of a couch, table, etc. She'd pull herself up  and then work her way around.

She loves the little walker a friend is letting us borrow. She pushes it all over the apartment.

Sophie also likes having Mommy or Daddy hold her hands and walk with her. This is tons of fun, but also kind of tough on our backs. Worth it though!

Sophie Takes a Bite out of the Big Apple

In August, Sophie made the trip up to New York City with us for Max and Bill's wedding. She truly was excellent throughout the trip. We got plenty of help from friends and family in getting baby gear, babysitters and a place to stay. Grandma and Zaide were also on the trip, which made it extra special.

Some highlights would be Sophie's first trip to Central Park, riding swings at different parks, going on the subway and in cabs, seeing great friends from all different parts of our lives including Dallas, Singapore, Mizzou and Houston.

Side note: the wedding was absolutely gorgeous. It was at sunset on the Hudson River with Manhattan in the background. Basically, a wedding you'd see at the end of a romantic comedy. Being a part of Max's wedding was extremely special, and we're so happy for Bill and him.

Food Fun

Baby purées are out. Sophie never really took much of a liking to them. Now, we give her little bites of whatever we're eating. She still relies on formula for most of her sustenance, but that will change as we transition to milk soon.

Without a doubt, Sophie's favorite food is watermelon.  Watching her stuff her cheeks with as much as she can fit in them is precious. She likes most fruits, cucumbers, cheese,  tomatoes, carrots, cereal puffs, noodles and challah. At this point, she's not a big meat eater.

Ba Ba, Ma Ma, Da Doh

We call one of Sophie's tricks the Christopher Walken. This is when she goes, "ay yay yay yay" in a funny way. She's started making little sounds and it's kind of cool to hear her say "Da Doh."  Not only does it sound like Daddy, but it's also a good sign she can put two different sounds together.

Swimming and Bath

Sophie despises bath time, so when we took her down to the pool for the first time during July 4th weekend, we had really low expectations. Surprisingly, she loved the pool! She had fun holding on to us, splashing her hands, trying to lick the pool water and kicking her legs. For a little while after, the pool visit seemed to make her like bath time more. Unfortunately, Sophie is back to hating baths. I'm sure she'll eventually like them again.

Hurricane Harvey

Sophie was a real trooper during Hurricane Harvey. We were without power and running water for a day and a half, but fortunately she didn't seem to notice. Once the water went down, Sophie got to spend the next week with Amanda because school was closed.

On a more personal note, it was a hard decision to stay in Houston before the storm. We'd debated going to Dallas, but we got very nervous we'd get stuck on the road with a crying baby and a dog. Plus, even if we could get there, we had no idea how long it would be before we could come back to Houston. We figured we'd be safe hunkered down in our fourth floor apartment,  and luckily that was the case. While we were fortunate, friends and family in this city were hit much harder. The city has started to return to normal, but some things will never be normal again. So many people have to figure out what to do with their homes. The national focus on Harvey has passed, but it's an everyday issue here in Houston.

Let There Be Cake

Let's get real, I had no interest in making a big party for Sophie's first birthday. Dinner with family and a cake for her to smash would have been enough for me. Luckily, I'm married to someone wonderful who had different ideas. Amanda planned an excelled first birthday party with  a "star" theme. Sophie partied hard. Bottles were poppin' everywhere (milk bottles). Along with many of her baby friends, Sophie played with toys and our personal favorite, a giant box.

Soph was a little hesitant to do her cake smash, but once she got the hang of how to eat cake, she had no problem stuffing her face with it.

La La Land

After the party, Gram and Gramp took Sophie back to LA with them for a week. People ask us how we feel and truly it's a mix. It's been nice for Amanda and I to kind of have our old life back. We've gone out to some nice dinners (without having to check a clock), we've walked our steps together, and we've enjoyed watching movies. Bali seems to love being an only child again (even though we know she loves her sissy).

All that being said, we absolutely miss Sophie. It's hard to explain, but my days have a feeling of incompleteness. The routine is off.

I know she's having a great time in LA with the family. She's gonna come home and it'll be great. I'm interested to see if Gram and Gramp will be excited to "give her back" so to say.

A Year and A Week

I won't get super mushy, but will say being a dad is a great joy for me. It is fun seeing this baby learn new things and figure out the world for herself.

I'm proud of Amanda and all she's done as a mom. Together, we're doing our best to make Sophie's life great. Truthfully though, it's Sophie making our lives great (boom, ended with some mush!).

Amanda's Guest Blog

Amanda provided this guest blog to mark Sophie's first birthday.

Sophie - One Year Thoughts and Reflections

Pregnancy and Giving Birth

In the early months of my pregnancy, let’s just say it wasn’t easy. When you are in the middle of it, it’s hard to think about anything else. I had normal amounts of nausea and tiredness but they drained me. Luckily, after the 14th week or so, I felt back to my normal self...sort of. After that I really look back at pregnancy fondly. Even now sometimes I miss being pregnant if you can believe that.

Then the miracle of birth was coming! When people asked if I was ready to give birth, my thought was always “It’s easier to take care of her on the inside than out”. I was comfortable. I was nervous. I was excited. I was four days late and awaiting Sophie’s arrival. The contractions became stronger and more consistent throughout the evening and at 1am my water broke. Off to the hospital we went. Once we got there, that is when the painful contractions started and I was ready for my epidural! After that it was a breeze. We “rested” until 10am, then I pushed for an hour and out she came. Our little alien baby was born and we were ready to introduce her to the world.

Recovery was not as “easy” as everything else had been thus far. I was so tired from the labor and delivery and just wanted to sleep. But for the most part I had a baby that wanted to eat and I was "the kitchen." Not to mention the 6-week recovery was painful at times.

Breastfeeding and feeling like a failure

I never truly felt I got the hang of the breastfeeding thing. It was so disappointing in the end. I had this feeling of inadequacy, like I wasn’t able to fulfill my motherly duty. Breastfeeding is supposed to be this beautiful, natural thing that has allowed all our babies to grow and thrive. To me, it never felt beautiful or anything close to natural. It wasn’t like I was alone - I had so many people offering to help and resources to use, but I didn’t even know how to get through it.

According to anyone that was an expert, the latch looked good from the outside, but it hurt intensely on my right side. I would cry, curl my toes, and writhe in pain every time she ate on that side. I was anxious after every feeding knowing that I would have to do it again in a few short hours or even minutes. I went to a few lactation consultants who said Sophie might have a tongue tie (she didn’t), that she had a very “chompy bite” (she did) and that she was obviously getting enough because she was having dirty diapers and growing. They all asked if I ever had trauma to that breast, but I didn’t...I felt like there needed to be a more simple answer but no one could see it.

I stopped feeding Sophie at the breast after 2.5 weeks, instead choosing to pump her breast milk. Pumping never felt painful to me but it was annoying. You are a slave to the pump both in terms of what you can do while pumping (nothing) and where you have to be during the day (time between pumping). I pumped for 6 months. I felt that was the best thing that I could do for my baby, let alone for our bank account (formula is expensive). The phrase "no use crying over spilled milk" doesn't apply to breast milk. You work hard for every ounce.

I would like to think that for another baby I would exclusively breastfeed or pump again, but realistically I don’t know if I can commit to pumping when you add a toddler to the equation. We will have to see how it goes.

To this day, being unable to breastfeed my baby gives me the biggest feelings of regret and incompetence. My biggest feeling of failure.

Anxiety, Depression and Attachment

I have a history of anxiety and depression. I do not like talking about it because I feel like mental health issues have a bad stigma in our society. I don’t want people to look at me differently, but I feel that I need to talk about it because not enough people do.

My timeline may be off, but I started feeling depressed about 3 weeks after giving birth. It is very difficult to separate feelings of depression vs. new motherhood. You feel exhausted, emotional and irrational for both.

My biggest clue that something was wrong was that I could not sleep. I know that you don’t sleep when you have a newborn, but even when I felt I couldn’t keep my eyelids open for another second, I still couldn’t sleep. I would hear Sophie make noises in her sleep and it would wake me - I would stay awake until she woke up to eat which could be an entire hour later. I didn’t get more than 2 hours of sleep straight for at least 3 weeks. Even when I did get a full night’s rest (8 hours after my mother and aunt took a night shift), I still would wake up feeling exhausted like I had never slept at all. It was terrible.

I had no appetite and had to force myself to eat. I was pumping, too. When your body makes breast milk you burn calories like crazy and add that to not eating anything and you can guess I lost a lot of weight. I was down 5 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight by 3 weeks. Don’t be mad just yet, I have put it all back on plus some by now.

To top it all off, I did not feel attached at all to Sophie. I found her to be annoying, constantly in need of something, she was never satisfied with what I was doing for her. Let me be clear - I NEVER WANTED TO HURT HER. However, I would not have minded if she went away. Or if I went away. I would fantasize about running away and leaving everyone behind. I cannot explain it, but I knew better and that my feelings of pain were temporary. My head knew I was wrong, but my heart felt differently - I needed help.

After seeing a psychiatrist, we adjusted my meds and I felt better in weeks. I was not expecting such good results so quickly. I only wish we had been more proactive knowing my history and had appointments lined up sooner, maybe I could have avoided some of my trouble.

Sophie has no idea that I felt that way, but I know and I hate that I remember how I felt early on. And no matter how much I love her now, I remember how at one time I didn’t. Aren’t parents supposed to have this immediate bond and love for their children? Michael and I discussed it and both agree it took us a while, but now we are both head over heels in love with our daughter so much that it hurts.

Can you have two biggest failures? Because this is pretty on par with the breastfeeding thing - regret and feeling inadequate.

Back to Work

I went back to work December 1st (9 ½ weeks) and Sophie went to daycare. Some mothers have a hard time dropping off their children for the first day, especially first children, but I was so looking forward to it. Going back to work gave me a “break” from being needed constantly. I could take a break to pee or eat lunch or make a phone call. It was wonderful!

I could not be more grateful to my bosses, Lenny and Jordan. They were so supportive of me throughout my pregnancy and even now. When I felt bad pumping at work on company time, it was no problem for them. I wish others had such a supportive work environment.

I am a better parent because of our time apart and when I come home we get to spend better quality time together instead of staring at the clock waiting for bedtime. Also, I think Sophie is better off going to daycare learning from the other kids and having more social interactions. It’s a win-win for us. Only thing that is a loss is how expensive it is, but that’s a different story altogether.

My Sophie Girl

I couldn’t imagine how much I could love my daughter. She is perfect in my eyes (ok I know she isn’t always but I am biased). The first 3 months were a challenge and adjustment, but we made it. Shortly after that became much more fun. We could actually play with Sophie and she became a real person with feelings. We quickly learned that Sophie is a very happy baby, extremely smiley and loves to explore.

My heart is so full of joy when I see Sophie playing with her fishbowl or walking on her walker or giving Bali kisses. I sometimes catch myself staring at the baby monitor just watching her sleep.

I can’t believe I blinked and now she is a year old. Things will be challenging at times, but I hope I can always think back to my little baby girl and remember how sweet and innocent she was, and how much love was pulsing through our family.

My wish for Sophie as she grows older is to always remember to be true to herself. I want her to know that if she works hard and is honest, with a little luck she can do anything. May she grow up to be as smart as she is beautiful and kind as she is sweet.  

Michael, My Love

A person that I owe everything to is my husband, Michael. Thank you to him for letting me share my feelings on his blog. He has kept me sane throughout this year even when it seemed it wasn’t helping.

For those who don’t know, when we discovered that I was suffering from postpartum depression, Michael stepped up and did all the night feedings for a month so that I could sleep. He is an incredible father and support system for our family. Even when he does something “stupid” he means well and quickly makes up for it.

We both have our roles. He takes 99% of the morning shifts so I can sleep a little longer. He does loads of laundry and washes bottles. He does feedings and diaper changes. He has been instrumental in Sophie, Bali and I’s lives. We love you and thank you for all that you do.

I wanted to write this as a way of (1) remembering what happened and how I felt after the first year and (2) to maybe let others know that whatever you are feeling is normal. There is no cookie-cutter way to feel about motherhood, but we all get through it. I think I am a better person for it.

Nine is Fine

Sophie's getting old, folks! Nah, just kidding, but the time does fly for sure.

Sophie on the Move

The last couple of months have been almost all positive with the baby girl. At about 7 and a half months, Sophie started crawling. Uh oh, the baby is mobile!

Since she started crawling, she's gotten better and better at it. One of the ways I learned how active she was came when she fell off our bed, just as I was reaching to pull her back. She's quick!

It's not funny, but kind of funny, when she wants to be with mommy and daddy, she "cry crawls" to us and grabs our ankles. When she gets to us, she normally calms down.

Baby Proofing

When cousin Alex came in town after Memorial Day, he gave us a preview of what we're going to need to do in order to baby proof the apartment. One of the tough things we'll have to figure out is how to handle the dog food. Sophie has found the entertainment of emptying Bali's bowl. I get it, the texture of the dog food is interesting, but I know Sophie trying to eat kibble will come next. Hmm, maybe we should let her? Might be the best lesson!

Along those same lines, Sophie is finding out how much fun doors can be. Open, close, open, close. She hasn't pinched her fingers yet, but I'm sure that will happen shortly.

Food Fun

Like all parts of parenting, there's a million and one ways to teach a baby to eat. We decided to go with traditional baby food mashes, and then introduce some solids. So far, Sophie likes the orange foods best (carrots and sweet potatoes). One night while at the Marblestones, we found out she's like me and enjoys watermelon.

We haven't yet advanced to serving her adult food cut up from our meals, but we'll get there.

Speaking the Tooth

Around the turn of 8 months, Sophie got her first two teeth in. We found out at a restaurant when Sophie was playing with a metal spoon and we heard it clank. A quick peek inside, and wouldn't ya know it, two tiny little teeth sticking out.

Family Time

We had some great family time the last couple of weeks. It started with going to Dallas for Mother's Day. Amanda was cool to share her first one with my family. We made a quick trip of it, with the most important part to me being time spent with my grandparents. We also got to see Amanda's grandparents, so it was great all around. On Sunday, we had a brunch with everyone. It's always fun to have my parents, my brothers and their wives, and all the kids get together.

A couple weeks later, Evan, Susanne and their kiddos came to stay with us over Shavuot. One of the days, we took the kids to the Houston Children's Museum, which was quite fun. I'm sure we'll be back! We also had some great friends come over for holiday meals. All in all, was fun to have them in town, especially getting to watch Sophie interact with Alex and Becca.

The week after that, we left for a quick trip to LA for Gram's birthday. It was my first time taking Sophie on a plane (Amanda made an LA trip with her back when she was 3 months old). The best thing was getting to see people's reactions when they saw her. Faces just lit up, and Sophie was happy to be the star of the show. She busted out her "Queen Elizabeth" wave, and more smiles. People showered her with compliments, with the most common being about how beautiful her eyes were (gets 'em from her mama).

In LA, we had a blast with everyone. I would say we had a lot of quality "be with" time. We watched some shows, hung out, ate our faces off, and then we celebrated Marilyn's birthday. It was a perfect birthday dinner for her, with everyone pitching in to make it happen.

Side note: I wrote this while on a plane back from Max Markowitz's bachelor party in Nashville. Max and I have been friends since we were 3, and I pray Sophie gets to have a lifelong friend like that one day.

Father's Day

Last part of this blog is about a true first for me, being a dad on Father's Day. Amanda had Sophie and Bali team up to make me a beautiful picture frame with foot and paw prints on the outside, and a picture of the two of them together on the inside. Amanda then continued the arts and crafts theme with a wood R. On it are "Rosenhouse Rules" we've come up with, such as Be Confident, Act in Kindness, Faith and Family First and Love Hard.

From there we went for steak lunch and then relaxed the rest of the day. While it was all simple, it was wonderful.

Being Sophie's dad is a real treat. There's the love, the laughter, the crying, the questioning. It's all part of a journey that changes each day. As Amanda recently told me, "We spent 9 months wondering who she'd be, and now 9 months discovering who she is." And to think, Amanda says I'm the one with words.

From Seven Weeks to Seven Months

Sophie's now seven months old!  Seeing as the last time I blogged was when she was seven weeks, figured it's a good time for an update.

The world has an entirely different feel now, than it did then.  Re-reading the last post is a reminder of how exhausting the early days were.

While neither Amanda or I would turn down a nap, we're definitely in a more regular state of mind.

This will be a quick post, going over some of the major steps forward.

Sophie in Daycare

At 10 weeks old, Sophie started attending daycare at a local church near us.  Monday-Friday, Amanda drops her off in the mornings, and I pick her up at night.  They're always doing fun things with her, motion development, songs, and of course art (Sophie's first piece was a Christmas wreath - perfect!).

Overall, we're happy with the place. Like all kids in daycare, she gets sick at times, but we see it as a good thing in her development.

Sleep Schedule

No baby blog can ever go far without discussing sleep.  Around two and a half months old, Sophie started sleeping for longer and longer periods and eventually would sleep through the night. Boy, that was a total game changer!  It helped kick us into a schedule, knowing she'd be tired and cranky by a certain point. But, that was all thrown out when ...

Sophie Gets an Infection

Around six months old, my parents were visiting and on Friday night, Sophie just seemed a bit off.  We took her temperature and there was a slight fever.  After a quick check in with the doctor, we let it sit overnight.

The next day, the fever was on and off.  It was hard to tell what was going on, but it was clear our normally happy, go lucky baby wasn't feeling well.  She wasn't eating much (definitely not normal) and she pretty much cried whenever she wasn't being held.

We took her to the doctor, and his instinct that she had a urinary tract infection was proven correct.  We treated her with antibiotics and thought it was fixed a week later.  Even though she wasn't sleeping all that well, she seemed better.  The next week though, it became more clear through screams in the middle of the night she wasn't right just yet.  The doctor tested her again and apparently the infection hadn't cleared.

We started a new round of antibiotics, in conjunction with a new round of sleep training. Well, actually it was our first round as she'd been sleeping on her own.  Having moved into a two bedroom apartment and getting her crib set up, the sleep training was tough for a few nights until, poof, we had a good sleeper once again!

Family Visits

It's been great having family come and visit baby Soph. Since moving into the bigger apartment, my parents, Amanda's parents and both sisters have all visited. During Passover, we even got treated to a quick trip from my AEPi bro, Steve. Both of my brothers have plans to visit in the coming months. We're so lucky to have people we love want to come be with us in this special time. While we don't always know what to do for entertainment, Sophie keeps everyone happy being the star she is!

Star of the Show

Speaking of, the song that fits Sophie nowadays is "Star of the Show" by Thomas Rhett.  Truly, everywhere we go, people are wanting to know, who's that girl, what's her name, with the prettiest smile in the world.  It's amazing to watch people's reaction to her, including the waitresses at Ruchi's who absolutely adore her.

Developmental Milestones

There are a ton, thankfully, but I'll just list a few of my favorites: the smile, the giggles, sticking her tongue out (and now able to curl it as well), sitting up and eating.  Oh yes, just a couple weeks ago we started giving her solid foods.  So far, she seems to be enjoying them, even if she's only had rice cereal, carrots and sweet potato.

Bali as Big Sissy

One of the great joys is watching Bali interact with Sophie.  Our two daughters are quite the pair.  Bali is always around to help clean up Sophie's face from drool or stray potato (Sophie literally opens her mouth to let Bali lick. We totally allow it because we're gross parents. It's so dang cute).  The coolest thing is Bali often just wants to be near the baby. While Sophie is playing on the mat, Bali will often be laying right next to her. Bali could go anywhere in the apartment, but she chooses to be with her baby sister.

Overall, we're in a happy place with Sophie at the moment. We're starting to get into a good schedule which includes a nighttime routine.  We still don't have, and never will, all the right answers, but we're doing our best.

Most importantly, I'd say the biggest change from the seven weeks' posts is we're now madly in love with our little daughter.  All those mushy things people say, I understand it much better now.  She's our little person, and it's all worth it when she smiles.