Amanda's Guest Blog

Amanda provided this guest blog to mark Sophie's first birthday.

Sophie - One Year Thoughts and Reflections

Pregnancy and Giving Birth

In the early months of my pregnancy, let’s just say it wasn’t easy. When you are in the middle of it, it’s hard to think about anything else. I had normal amounts of nausea and tiredness but they drained me. Luckily, after the 14th week or so, I felt back to my normal self...sort of. After that I really look back at pregnancy fondly. Even now sometimes I miss being pregnant if you can believe that.

Then the miracle of birth was coming! When people asked if I was ready to give birth, my thought was always “It’s easier to take care of her on the inside than out”. I was comfortable. I was nervous. I was excited. I was four days late and awaiting Sophie’s arrival. The contractions became stronger and more consistent throughout the evening and at 1am my water broke. Off to the hospital we went. Once we got there, that is when the painful contractions started and I was ready for my epidural! After that it was a breeze. We “rested” until 10am, then I pushed for an hour and out she came. Our little alien baby was born and we were ready to introduce her to the world.

Recovery was not as “easy” as everything else had been thus far. I was so tired from the labor and delivery and just wanted to sleep. But for the most part I had a baby that wanted to eat and I was "the kitchen." Not to mention the 6-week recovery was painful at times.

Breastfeeding and feeling like a failure

I never truly felt I got the hang of the breastfeeding thing. It was so disappointing in the end. I had this feeling of inadequacy, like I wasn’t able to fulfill my motherly duty. Breastfeeding is supposed to be this beautiful, natural thing that has allowed all our babies to grow and thrive. To me, it never felt beautiful or anything close to natural. It wasn’t like I was alone - I had so many people offering to help and resources to use, but I didn’t even know how to get through it.

According to anyone that was an expert, the latch looked good from the outside, but it hurt intensely on my right side. I would cry, curl my toes, and writhe in pain every time she ate on that side. I was anxious after every feeding knowing that I would have to do it again in a few short hours or even minutes. I went to a few lactation consultants who said Sophie might have a tongue tie (she didn’t), that she had a very “chompy bite” (she did) and that she was obviously getting enough because she was having dirty diapers and growing. They all asked if I ever had trauma to that breast, but I didn’t...I felt like there needed to be a more simple answer but no one could see it.

I stopped feeding Sophie at the breast after 2.5 weeks, instead choosing to pump her breast milk. Pumping never felt painful to me but it was annoying. You are a slave to the pump both in terms of what you can do while pumping (nothing) and where you have to be during the day (time between pumping). I pumped for 6 months. I felt that was the best thing that I could do for my baby, let alone for our bank account (formula is expensive). The phrase "no use crying over spilled milk" doesn't apply to breast milk. You work hard for every ounce.

I would like to think that for another baby I would exclusively breastfeed or pump again, but realistically I don’t know if I can commit to pumping when you add a toddler to the equation. We will have to see how it goes.

To this day, being unable to breastfeed my baby gives me the biggest feelings of regret and incompetence. My biggest feeling of failure.

Anxiety, Depression and Attachment

I have a history of anxiety and depression. I do not like talking about it because I feel like mental health issues have a bad stigma in our society. I don’t want people to look at me differently, but I feel that I need to talk about it because not enough people do.

My timeline may be off, but I started feeling depressed about 3 weeks after giving birth. It is very difficult to separate feelings of depression vs. new motherhood. You feel exhausted, emotional and irrational for both.

My biggest clue that something was wrong was that I could not sleep. I know that you don’t sleep when you have a newborn, but even when I felt I couldn’t keep my eyelids open for another second, I still couldn’t sleep. I would hear Sophie make noises in her sleep and it would wake me - I would stay awake until she woke up to eat which could be an entire hour later. I didn’t get more than 2 hours of sleep straight for at least 3 weeks. Even when I did get a full night’s rest (8 hours after my mother and aunt took a night shift), I still would wake up feeling exhausted like I had never slept at all. It was terrible.

I had no appetite and had to force myself to eat. I was pumping, too. When your body makes breast milk you burn calories like crazy and add that to not eating anything and you can guess I lost a lot of weight. I was down 5 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight by 3 weeks. Don’t be mad just yet, I have put it all back on plus some by now.

To top it all off, I did not feel attached at all to Sophie. I found her to be annoying, constantly in need of something, she was never satisfied with what I was doing for her. Let me be clear - I NEVER WANTED TO HURT HER. However, I would not have minded if she went away. Or if I went away. I would fantasize about running away and leaving everyone behind. I cannot explain it, but I knew better and that my feelings of pain were temporary. My head knew I was wrong, but my heart felt differently - I needed help.

After seeing a psychiatrist, we adjusted my meds and I felt better in weeks. I was not expecting such good results so quickly. I only wish we had been more proactive knowing my history and had appointments lined up sooner, maybe I could have avoided some of my trouble.

Sophie has no idea that I felt that way, but I know and I hate that I remember how I felt early on. And no matter how much I love her now, I remember how at one time I didn’t. Aren’t parents supposed to have this immediate bond and love for their children? Michael and I discussed it and both agree it took us a while, but now we are both head over heels in love with our daughter so much that it hurts.

Can you have two biggest failures? Because this is pretty on par with the breastfeeding thing - regret and feeling inadequate.

Back to Work

I went back to work December 1st (9 ½ weeks) and Sophie went to daycare. Some mothers have a hard time dropping off their children for the first day, especially first children, but I was so looking forward to it. Going back to work gave me a “break” from being needed constantly. I could take a break to pee or eat lunch or make a phone call. It was wonderful!

I could not be more grateful to my bosses, Lenny and Jordan. They were so supportive of me throughout my pregnancy and even now. When I felt bad pumping at work on company time, it was no problem for them. I wish others had such a supportive work environment.

I am a better parent because of our time apart and when I come home we get to spend better quality time together instead of staring at the clock waiting for bedtime. Also, I think Sophie is better off going to daycare learning from the other kids and having more social interactions. It’s a win-win for us. Only thing that is a loss is how expensive it is, but that’s a different story altogether.

My Sophie Girl

I couldn’t imagine how much I could love my daughter. She is perfect in my eyes (ok I know she isn’t always but I am biased). The first 3 months were a challenge and adjustment, but we made it. Shortly after that became much more fun. We could actually play with Sophie and she became a real person with feelings. We quickly learned that Sophie is a very happy baby, extremely smiley and loves to explore.

My heart is so full of joy when I see Sophie playing with her fishbowl or walking on her walker or giving Bali kisses. I sometimes catch myself staring at the baby monitor just watching her sleep.

I can’t believe I blinked and now she is a year old. Things will be challenging at times, but I hope I can always think back to my little baby girl and remember how sweet and innocent she was, and how much love was pulsing through our family.

My wish for Sophie as she grows older is to always remember to be true to herself. I want her to know that if she works hard and is honest, with a little luck she can do anything. May she grow up to be as smart as she is beautiful and kind as she is sweet.  

Michael, My Love

A person that I owe everything to is my husband, Michael. Thank you to him for letting me share my feelings on his blog. He has kept me sane throughout this year even when it seemed it wasn’t helping.

For those who don’t know, when we discovered that I was suffering from postpartum depression, Michael stepped up and did all the night feedings for a month so that I could sleep. He is an incredible father and support system for our family. Even when he does something “stupid” he means well and quickly makes up for it.

We both have our roles. He takes 99% of the morning shifts so I can sleep a little longer. He does loads of laundry and washes bottles. He does feedings and diaper changes. He has been instrumental in Sophie, Bali and I’s lives. We love you and thank you for all that you do.

I wanted to write this as a way of (1) remembering what happened and how I felt after the first year and (2) to maybe let others know that whatever you are feeling is normal. There is no cookie-cutter way to feel about motherhood, but we all get through it. I think I am a better person for it.

Nine is Fine

Sophie's getting old, folks! Nah, just kidding, but the time does fly for sure.

Sophie on the Move

The last couple of months have been almost all positive with the baby girl. At about 7 and a half months, Sophie started crawling. Uh oh, the baby is mobile!

Since she started crawling, she's gotten better and better at it. One of the ways I learned how active she was came when she fell off our bed, just as I was reaching to pull her back. She's quick!

It's not funny, but kind of funny, when she wants to be with mommy and daddy, she "cry crawls" to us and grabs our ankles. When she gets to us, she normally calms down.

Baby Proofing

When cousin Alex came in town after Memorial Day, he gave us a preview of what we're going to need to do in order to baby proof the apartment. One of the tough things we'll have to figure out is how to handle the dog food. Sophie has found the entertainment of emptying Bali's bowl. I get it, the texture of the dog food is interesting, but I know Sophie trying to eat kibble will come next. Hmm, maybe we should let her? Might be the best lesson!

Along those same lines, Sophie is finding out how much fun doors can be. Open, close, open, close. She hasn't pinched her fingers yet, but I'm sure that will happen shortly.

Food Fun

Like all parts of parenting, there's a million and one ways to teach a baby to eat. We decided to go with traditional baby food mashes, and then introduce some solids. So far, Sophie likes the orange foods best (carrots and sweet potatoes). One night while at the Marblestones, we found out she's like me and enjoys watermelon.

We haven't yet advanced to serving her adult food cut up from our meals, but we'll get there.

Speaking the Tooth

Around the turn of 8 months, Sophie got her first two teeth in. We found out at a restaurant when Sophie was playing with a metal spoon and we heard it clank. A quick peek inside, and wouldn't ya know it, two tiny little teeth sticking out.

Family Time

We had some great family time the last couple of weeks. It started with going to Dallas for Mother's Day. Amanda was cool to share her first one with my family. We made a quick trip of it, with the most important part to me being time spent with my grandparents. We also got to see Amanda's grandparents, so it was great all around. On Sunday, we had a brunch with everyone. It's always fun to have my parents, my brothers and their wives, and all the kids get together.

A couple weeks later, Evan, Susanne and their kiddos came to stay with us over Shavuot. One of the days, we took the kids to the Houston Children's Museum, which was quite fun. I'm sure we'll be back! We also had some great friends come over for holiday meals. All in all, was fun to have them in town, especially getting to watch Sophie interact with Alex and Becca.

The week after that, we left for a quick trip to LA for Gram's birthday. It was my first time taking Sophie on a plane (Amanda made an LA trip with her back when she was 3 months old). The best thing was getting to see people's reactions when they saw her. Faces just lit up, and Sophie was happy to be the star of the show. She busted out her "Queen Elizabeth" wave, and more smiles. People showered her with compliments, with the most common being about how beautiful her eyes were (gets 'em from her mama).

In LA, we had a blast with everyone. I would say we had a lot of quality "be with" time. We watched some shows, hung out, ate our faces off, and then we celebrated Marilyn's birthday. It was a perfect birthday dinner for her, with everyone pitching in to make it happen.

Side note: I wrote this while on a plane back from Max Markowitz's bachelor party in Nashville. Max and I have been friends since we were 3, and I pray Sophie gets to have a lifelong friend like that one day.

Father's Day

Last part of this blog is about a true first for me, being a dad on Father's Day. Amanda had Sophie and Bali team up to make me a beautiful picture frame with foot and paw prints on the outside, and a picture of the two of them together on the inside. Amanda then continued the arts and crafts theme with a wood R. On it are "Rosenhouse Rules" we've come up with, such as Be Confident, Act in Kindness, Faith and Family First and Love Hard.

From there we went for steak lunch and then relaxed the rest of the day. While it was all simple, it was wonderful.

Being Sophie's dad is a real treat. There's the love, the laughter, the crying, the questioning. It's all part of a journey that changes each day. As Amanda recently told me, "We spent 9 months wondering who she'd be, and now 9 months discovering who she is." And to think, Amanda says I'm the one with words.

From Seven Weeks to Seven Months

Sophie's now seven months old!  Seeing as the last time I blogged was when she was seven weeks, figured it's a good time for an update.

The world has an entirely different feel now, than it did then.  Re-reading the last post is a reminder of how exhausting the early days were.

While neither Amanda or I would turn down a nap, we're definitely in a more regular state of mind.

This will be a quick post, going over some of the major steps forward.

Sophie in Daycare

At 10 weeks old, Sophie started attending daycare at a local church near us.  Monday-Friday, Amanda drops her off in the mornings, and I pick her up at night.  They're always doing fun things with her, motion development, songs, and of course art (Sophie's first piece was a Christmas wreath - perfect!).

Overall, we're happy with the place. Like all kids in daycare, she gets sick at times, but we see it as a good thing in her development.

Sleep Schedule

No baby blog can ever go far without discussing sleep.  Around two and a half months old, Sophie started sleeping for longer and longer periods and eventually would sleep through the night. Boy, that was a total game changer!  It helped kick us into a schedule, knowing she'd be tired and cranky by a certain point. But, that was all thrown out when ...

Sophie Gets an Infection

Around six months old, my parents were visiting and on Friday night, Sophie just seemed a bit off.  We took her temperature and there was a slight fever.  After a quick check in with the doctor, we let it sit overnight.

The next day, the fever was on and off.  It was hard to tell what was going on, but it was clear our normally happy, go lucky baby wasn't feeling well.  She wasn't eating much (definitely not normal) and she pretty much cried whenever she wasn't being held.

We took her to the doctor, and his instinct that she had a urinary tract infection was proven correct.  We treated her with antibiotics and thought it was fixed a week later.  Even though she wasn't sleeping all that well, she seemed better.  The next week though, it became more clear through screams in the middle of the night she wasn't right just yet.  The doctor tested her again and apparently the infection hadn't cleared.

We started a new round of antibiotics, in conjunction with a new round of sleep training. Well, actually it was our first round as she'd been sleeping on her own.  Having moved into a two bedroom apartment and getting her crib set up, the sleep training was tough for a few nights until, poof, we had a good sleeper once again!

Family Visits

It's been great having family come and visit baby Soph. Since moving into the bigger apartment, my parents, Amanda's parents and both sisters have all visited. During Passover, we even got treated to a quick trip from my AEPi bro, Steve. Both of my brothers have plans to visit in the coming months. We're so lucky to have people we love want to come be with us in this special time. While we don't always know what to do for entertainment, Sophie keeps everyone happy being the star she is!

Star of the Show

Speaking of, the song that fits Sophie nowadays is "Star of the Show" by Thomas Rhett.  Truly, everywhere we go, people are wanting to know, who's that girl, what's her name, with the prettiest smile in the world.  It's amazing to watch people's reaction to her, including the waitresses at Ruchi's who absolutely adore her.

Developmental Milestones

There are a ton, thankfully, but I'll just list a few of my favorites: the smile, the giggles, sticking her tongue out (and now able to curl it as well), sitting up and eating.  Oh yes, just a couple weeks ago we started giving her solid foods.  So far, she seems to be enjoying them, even if she's only had rice cereal, carrots and sweet potato.

Bali as Big Sissy

One of the great joys is watching Bali interact with Sophie.  Our two daughters are quite the pair.  Bali is always around to help clean up Sophie's face from drool or stray potato (Sophie literally opens her mouth to let Bali lick. We totally allow it because we're gross parents. It's so dang cute).  The coolest thing is Bali often just wants to be near the baby. While Sophie is playing on the mat, Bali will often be laying right next to her. Bali could go anywhere in the apartment, but she chooses to be with her baby sister.

Overall, we're in a happy place with Sophie at the moment. We're starting to get into a good schedule which includes a nighttime routine.  We still don't have, and never will, all the right answers, but we're doing our best.

Most importantly, I'd say the biggest change from the seven weeks' posts is we're now madly in love with our little daughter.  All those mushy things people say, I understand it much better now.  She's our little person, and it's all worth it when she smiles.

Sophie at Seven Weeks, Almost

Sophie is about to turn seven weeks old.  Sometimes seven weeks feels like she’s been here just seven seconds, sometimes it feels like seven years.

To begin, we love our daughter.  She’s a happy, healthy baby, enjoying her life as a happy, healthy baby.  In life, health is not always granted, and we feel blessed knowing Sophie has so far been able to grow as she should. 

That being said, I have to be honest and admit I didn’t have the “love overflows within me immediately” moment. Many friends told me this immense love washed over them as soon as they heard the baby’s first cry.  For Amanda and I, one of the most real conversations we’ve ever had came when we admitted both of us were still growing to love Sophie.  Were there times early on I thought, well if for some reason Beyonce wanted to come raise our child, Amanda and I could go back to normal? Yes, there were. I never seriously wanted that, but it did enter my mind.

Now, everything’s changed. I find myself absolutely in love with her.  We were on a walk yesterday, and I found myself just kissing her forehead over and over again.  She’s so cute and precious and wonderful and ... see, that overflow of love is there.

Here are few of the ups and downs that brought us to where we are now seven weeks in.

People always say parenting will change your life and that it’s really hard.  Hearing that though, and actually going through it are very different things. We tried to prepare ourselves, but truthfully, there’s no preparation for the lack of sleep and the full on effect taking care of a newborn has.

Let’s start with Sleep and it’s related friend, Breastfeeding.  For the first few weeks, we couldn’t sleep for more than 3 hours at a time.  Amanda and I had committed to breastfeeding, and we were doing our best to feed “on demand” as many of the classes and books suggested.  What we didn’t realize is how dang hard it would be! 

I’d assumed since the pregnancy had gone so smoothly, the birth was very good, breastfeeding would come naturally as well.  Unfortunately, not everything went to plan.  Despite Amanda feeling pain during pretty much every feeding, we tried to stay with it exclusively for the first few weeks. Amanda was getting almost no sleep, because even after we put the baby back down at night, she was anxious about the next feeding. At about the 2 and a half week mark, we started introducing bottles.  No, this wasn’t part of the plan, but it seemed like a must to us.  Since then, things have gotten much easier. Not only could I help out more significantly with the feedings, but so could family members and friends. (One of the best parts was while Amanda’s mom was in town, she took the baby for a night in the living room, just so we could get a full night’s rest.)

We’ve now moved exclusively to bottle feeding, while also supplementing with formula.  There’s another big word, formula.  I’m not sure what my hold up was about it, but in my head, using formula felt like failure. That’s foolish of course, because you never meet someone and say, “Oh, you can tell he was totally formula fed.”  And you’ve heard the saying, a fed baby is all that matters.  That’s proven to be true.  Amanda is sleeping more, the baby is sleeping more and so am I.  At least at night that is. 

Everyone told us beforehand, sleep when the baby sleeps.  That’s easy to say, but during the day it can be harder to accomplish.  Sometimes Sophie sleeps for two or three hours, sometimes she sleeps for 15 minutes.  Amanda is doing her best to squeeze in cat naps when she can.

Sleep and breastfeeding were the major hurdles.  Now that we’ve reached a happy routine for us, everything is going more smoothly.

Side note, I'm writing this on one of my few off days.  Thankfully, my work was cooperative with me and let me build up my vacation time to use once the baby arrived.  That being said, I hate there's no paternity leave. It has hurt me leaving Amanda with the baby, while I go to work. Amanda has handled the challenge though. Like our doctor told us, she's doing multiple jobs for the baby: she's the cook, she's the maid, she's the teacher ... she's mom.

Overall, it feels like Sophie wants these very common baby things: eat, sleep, have someone change diapers, be held and be in motion.  One side benefit, I’m meeting more and more neighbors! At any time during the day, you might find me walking the hallways, baby in arm, trying to calm her or rock her to sleep.  My mother-in-law started the walking-soothing technique for us, and I’ve enjoyed carrying it on.  Sophie is enamored with the hallway lights, plus I enjoy playing country music songs for her while walking at 3 AM! (I like to think of “Wanna Be That Song,” by Brett Eldredge as our song)

Emotionally, for both Amanda and me, there’s been moments of doubt, even sadness, but then there’s the great joys as well.  For example, when Sophie has the milk drunk face.  Or, how about the first time I got to take Sophie in the baby bjorn and walk her around the block with Bali!  Yes, part of me was just proud I figured out how to actually use the bjorn!!!

Bali has been a great big sister so far.  While she doesn’t get the same attention she used to, we’re making concerted efforts to show her we love her as well.  She’s great with the baby, checking on Sophie when she cries. Plus, now Bali gets to sleep in the bed with Mommy and Daddy!  In the middle of the night when we’re trying to go back to sleep, having our fur baby is just so comforting. 

Through all of it, the baby acne, the poop explosions through her diaper, Sophie’s piercing cry when she got her vaccinations, etc, we’ve tried to appreciate this early time, because we know it goes fast. Then again, I’m happy to have passed the six week threshold.  Everyday will provide new fun moments and new challenges.  The good news is we’ve had immense support from family and friends. 

I know for many of us, it feels like there’s a lot of darkness in the world right now. Sophie is  the light for Amanda and me.  We want to show her by being kind, loving and helpful to others, we’re making a better life for her. We can’t fix the world, but we can make a difference in the lives around us. And who knows, maybe Sophie will want to be President one day!

Sophie's Grand Arrival

First off, Amanda is absolutely, incredible! My love for her is as deep as it gets.

Wanted to take some time to write down how Sophie Jessica Rosenhouse made her way into the world.

Well, she took her sweet time, not caring what her "due date" was. She didn't see the eviction notice in the womb, I guess.

After having Chinese food for dinner Saturday, it turned out four days of extra stay would be long enough for our little girl. Amanda woke me up around 1:15 AM.

"I think my water broke, I'm gonna call the doctor," she said.

She'd been timing her contractions, and it felt like they'd become more consistent and intense. The doctor told us to come in.

With our "go bag" already in the car, we made quick calls to our parents and drove to the hospital. Whether it was a false alarm or not, we didn't know yet, but still, I knew this was the right move either way.

We got to the hospital around 2 AM and after some tests and contraction measurements, the nurse told us we wouldn't be leaving without a baby! "Okay, it's really go time," I thought to myself.

Watching Amanda go through the pain of contractions was tough. I felt helpless, even though I was trying my best to comfort her.

Thankfully, the anesthesiologist arrived quickly and the epidural made Amanda feel much, much better. My parents got to the hospital and wished us well, before we took naps, knowing Amanda would really need her strength for what was to come.

Amanda's Aunt Sharon arrived around 8:15 with a beautiful baby mum the Rudes made. See, I love the mums!

Well, around 9:45ish, the doctor came in to check on Amanda and told us she was ready to start pushing!

Now here's what I didn't realize, a lot of the helping work would be done by the labor nurse and myself, with of course Amanda as the driving force. With us holding her legs, Amanda would make three, ten second pushes, each time helping the baby move further and further down.

Around 10:30, the nurse (who by the way was wearing a Texans shirt because it was Sunday-I'm sure JJ Watt would love that) predicted the baby would be out by 11! As I jokingly said to Amanda, "it's less time than a John Oliver show to go."

A series of pushes later and then it all became very real. We could start to see the head!

Side note: for the longest time during pregnancy, my plan was to stay "north of the border" during labor and delivery. Well, that plan quickly went out the door, and in hindsight, I'm glad it did. Seeing this all was helpful for me in comforting and motivating Amanda. Also, there literally is nothing else like it.

Back to the story. Amanda was doing great: good breathing, then pushing, some quick chewing of ice chips and then back to breathing, pushing, repeat. More and more, the baby's head was showing.

Around 10:50 or so, the nurse brought the doctor in. Unfortunately, Dr. Pinell, who was our doctor throughout the pregnancy, was out of town Saturday and Sunday (Murphy's Law some might say).  Fortunately, his partner, Dr. Maccatto, is just as well liked around the hospital.

The doctor came in, and quickly he was in position, saying "push, push, push" in his interesting accent.

Now, here comes the big moment, and it went in a flash.  The doctor said on her next series of pushes, our baby would be out. That turned out to be true!

Finally, I realized why people had been saying the doctor would "catch the baby."  First, the baby's head squeezed out with her face pointing in my direction, then the rest of her body just seemed to slide out into the world!

Amanda was crying tears of joy, and I was right there with her.

There she was, a baby, quickly cleaned off in a matter of seconds. I cut the umbilical cord, and the baby was brought to her mom's chest.

Through the tears, Amanda said "come here Sophie," and it all came together in an instant.  She was born at 11:04 AM, Sunday, September 25, 2016. All in all, from telling me her water broke until the birth, it was about 10 hours.

From there it was a bit of a whirlwind. Amanda was so tired and immediately my thoughts started going into more of, how do I protect her, more than being focused on the baby.

We called her parents and let them know they were officially now grandparents to Sophie Jessica Rosenhouse. They liked how the name was easy to say. From there, I walked with a pep in my step to the waiting area to tell my parents and Bonkie. An added benefit, my brother Evan was already on the phone with them. I made a call to my brother David and then returned to Amanda.

She was focusing on the first hour, skin to skin time with Sophie, as this is the encouraged way to help Amanda bond and start creating milk.

We moved into the postpartum room. I don't want to write all about this part, mostly because at first I was kind of disappointed. It really felt like we were brought to the room and then basically told, "call us if you need us."

We didn't get too much advice or instruction on how to do anything really. I felt lost and totally unsure of myself. Some might say, welcome to parenting, but that wasn't a feeling I enjoyed.

As the day went on, we figured out the system a bit more, and again the protection feeling to get Amanda recovering well was very active.

We slept when we could and then started a new day. "Remember, one day at a time," I kept thinking to myself.

The rest of the time in the hospital continued with more ups and downs. That's just gonna be the way it goes for a while (or maybe forever). In the end, we'll just do our best to act in love and make the choices that feel right.

Thank you to everyone for the love and support you've given. Having the baby is really a blessing, and it will continue to shape our lives going forward :)

-- Sophie's daddy

Less than a month until Baby Girl Rosenhouse

Well, it’s official - we’re now less than a month away from the due date for Baby Girl Rosenhouse.

Each day we get closer, everything becomes more real.  For the first half of the pregnancy, my mind wasn’t all consumed by it, if we’re being truthful.  I know for Amanda, it was much more present. Then again, she was the one growing a baby inside of her!  Since entering the last trimester, the mental preparation, nervousness and dreams have all moved to the forefront personally. 

Just wanted to write out a few thoughts before the world changes forever.

It’s been beautiful to watch Amanda during the pregnancy.  She’s handled it incredibly well, and even in the tough times, our connection has been strong. 

As far as our preparations, I like to say if we want our apartment to be 90% ready and organized on the day the baby comes (we hear you can never be fully prepared), right now we’d only be about 30%.  There’s a lot of work to be done, but each day we seem to be accomplishing something that will hopefully make our lives easier later on. 

We’ve now started going to the doctor once a week per his request. It’s nothing out of the norm, just the way he likes to do it.  Dr. Pinell has so far been excellent for us, calmly answering all our questions and getting us ready for the big day.  Each time, he does a sonogram so he can check the heartbeat.  Side note: The two most memorable were the first time when we heard the heart beat for the first time, and the second was when he told us it’d be a girl.  I’ll always remember holding Amanda’s ankle and seeing her cry with happiness when she realized it’d be a girl. Of course, me being a weeper, I quickly had to wipe my eyes.

Parenting prep wise, we’re midway through a Jewish Baby University class we’re taking through the Federation in Houston.  So far, it’s been a great way to be around people going through the same things we are.  Each week, there’s a mix of baby preparation and religious learning going.  It’s been something we look forward to and hopefully that continues! 

Overall, I feel pretty good about everything. Of course, I absolutely have the fear of the unknown, unsure what it will be like when we actually have to start parenting, but that’s natural.  Amanda and I agree that we’ll make mistakes, but that’s all part of the process.  Every kid in the world has had imperfect parents. It’s just about doing the best you can.

On that note, I frequently ask people to give me pieces of parenting advice or more specifically, ask them to share with me one thing they wish they would have known. 

Here are some favorites:

Try to enjoy every moment, because they go by so quickly.  A big part of this is also to try and enjoy the tough times.  No one likes getting little sleep, but try and appreciate those early days because they fly by.  What’s interesting about this is people point out the kid is constantly evolving, so you have to take to heart each day, because the next one brings about a different version. 

Take it one day at a time.  Yes, this is very much the “coach speak” I don’t enjoy during my job, but it seems to be a good way of looking at this.  Step 1, get through day one, and then after that go to day two, three, four and so one.  It’s simple, but I like it.

You can’t make a mistake, if you’re doing something out of love. This one follows the path of you’ll make mistakes, but don’t see them as failures, more as learning experiences.

Spend as much time as you can with your kids. This one came from our Rabbi, who basically explained, with as quickly as the kids grow, you’ll want to be a part of as many moments as they can, especially early on. He also added, work and jobs will be there and your best memories often don’t come from work, but with family. Having time with your kids decreases as they become older and start shaping their own lives, so try to take advantage early on. Others have also stressed the importance of putting family before career.  It’s always a tough balance to find, but I already feel like that’s sinking in.

Enjoy helping craft a human being! This came from multiple people who talked about what it’s like once the baby and then eventually, the kid, starts to show their personality.   It’s cool to see how what you’ve tried to instill in them comes through, but how they also have a mind of their own.  On that note, realize the kid is always watching and seeing how you act in the world. 

There’s been many more people talking about the immense love we’ll feel, how a feeling of protection immediately flows over you. Also, everyone tells us to bank as much as sleep as we can now (I promise we’re trying to!). 

We’ll leave it there for now.  Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive. I’m sure we’ll look for your help many times in the adventure ahead :)

Michael

Selfie Sticks in Italy

When you haven't had to full-on travel plan in a while, you shouldn't be surprised when things don't seem to go smoothly. Well, the start to our Italian adventure wasn't as creamy as risotto. We flew from Houston to Istanbul to Milan on Turkish Air. Overall, good flights and no real complaints. We got into Milan after midnight and had to figure our way to get to the airport shuttle bus.  The bus would drop us close to the airport hotel we'd picked for our short stay. Well, it did drop us off somewhat near the hotel, but upon getting off the bus on a dark street, we realized the wheel to our big suitcase was broken. Great, two weeks of intense travel ahead of us and our 65 pound suitcase only has one good wheel. We set out in the morning to the airport to file a complaint with the airline, and then make our way to Venice. The complaint process was a bit frustrating, red tape, etc. Finally, we made it to the train we needed, and off to Venice we went. Well, we ended up going one stop too many, had to take another train back to the other stop, and then once we got to Mestre (the town outside Venice we stayed in), we had to figure out which bus to take to get to the hotel. So, already we'd experience planes, trains and automobiles. I'm thinking, next time, travel agency!!! We settled into the hotel before making our journey to meet Dana for dinner. Ah yes, the first introduction in this post of Dana, our great friend from our time in Singapore. Her fiancé, Zach, and her decided to get married in Italy, and when we heard, we immediately tried to figure out how we could go! Fast forward eleven months later and dinner is upon us at a restaurant at the Hilton hotel. Very nice view of the waterway, great conversation and a ravioli I hope to never forget. It was ravioli with beef inside and meat sauce on top - I used bread to mop up every bit. On top of that, the balsamic vinegar they had was delicious. After a few drinks, we adventured back to the hotel which included a bus ride that reminded me of a Singapore MRT at rush hour - loads of people, no space and some ripe smells. It worked though, getting us where we needed to be. ----- Saturday was excellent. We decided to go on a free walking tour. It took us through Venice's Jewish Ghetto (talk about Jewish guilt, walking by a synagogue with people praying on Shabbos, while Amanda and I simply tour. Must go to confessional, oops, right country, wrong religion).  After, our tour guide took us across the many squares and bridges, she explained the Carnival masks that were worn and the history of the city. We found it to be a great tour lasting about two and a half hours. From there, we got lunch, first attempting a fried cheese snack (good until hitting the sardine in the middle), and then getting two slices of pizza at a stand and eating them on one of the bridges. This brings up something that bothered me a bit - the cover charge to eat at a restaurant. I understand the city's main income is tourism, but it just felt like there was a charge for everything - the restroom, a seat at the gelato shop, best not to cough, there might be a charge. I get why it's done, but still, frustrating. Turns out, the cover charge occurs all across Italy. Following lunch, we walked through the small streets to get to St. Mark's Square. The square doesn't look like any other part of Venice. It was our first taste of the beautiful and massive churches in Italy. From there, we meandered around, getting lost through the streets as we made our way to the other side of a waterway to visit a recommended gelato shop. Then, perhaps my favorite and Amanda's least favorite moment of the day. We stumbled into a showing of an opera movie. It was so weird! At first, it showed men being strapped into devices by women, and then the women were holding on to animals with different anatomical parts (a dog's head on a lizard body). Amanda quickly left, fearing nightmares, and I kept watching just for the sheer oddity of it all. We found a spot for dinner and headed back to the hotel for an early night. At least, I thought it'd be an early night. Trying to improve on my travel skills, I attempted to book our ticket to Florence for the next day. On accident, I booked the wrong day. Trying to change it online was a headache. Frustrated, we just went to bed and hoped we could figure it out the next morning at the train station. Fortunately, we were able to change the ticket at the station and off to Florence we went! ------- Our arrival into Florence was much smoother than Venice as it only took us five minutes or so to walk to the hotel. After a quick nap, we set off to lunch before a walking tour. Lunch at McDonald's was a failure. For the first time at any of the McD's we've been to around the world, they charged for ketchup! Being the cheapo I am, I opted for no ketchup. Turns out, food from there needs ketchup. Our walking tour was centered around the Medici family, which ruled Florence for three centuries. All in all, the tour was fairly average, but it gave us a sense of where everything was including the Duomo, three Medici palaces and the city hall. As our tour wrapped up, we decided to visit the David. It's a must see right? We enjoyed seeing the statue, but probably didn't appreciate all the other art work on show. Amanda and I just aren't art enthusiasts (which is obviously a huge part of Italy's tourism). From there, we bargained in a cheap shop for a suitcase (a lovely Asian woman, made me feel in my element haha. The suitcase was made in China. "Please work," I prayed). Our dinner was in a nice restaurant the hotel suggested. Amanda ordered gnocchi, which was delicious, and the cheese helped me as I accidentally ordered a cheeseless pizza! It was a simple mistake, and truthfully, it was still tasty with great dough and marinara sauce. After, we got the early night we'd been seeking. ----------- On Monday, we took a day tour to Cinque Terre, a beautiful area with five seaside towns on the coast of the Mediterranean. We'd seen pictures before our trip and didn't think we'd have time, but the day tour made it possible. The views are stunning. I would love to know what the first settlers were thinking.  "Eh,  there's some land that could be tough to cultivate. Screw it, there's nothing better to do!" We had gelato in one of the towns (better than our first experience) and then a nice lunch in another (pizza again- this time with cheese, yeehaw!). Shortly after, we went swimming on the beach for a little. I've always loved the water and a short little boat trip between two of the islands hadn't been enough! The bus ride back to Florence provided some excellent views of vineyards and mountain sides. For dinner, we again took the hotel's recommendation, and it was spot on for the second night in a row. The trattoria we ate in gave us a really nice dining experience. The tripadvisor reviews had all suggested the food was good, but it was geared for tourists. Well, good thing I'm a tourist!  We had to wait for a table, but the host gave us prosecco while we waited. The waiter's English was excellent. The food was all very tasty (we shared a caprese salad, vegetable soup and spaghetti bolognese).  The best part was the host. He understood customer service. We talked about how he's visited Houston, he gave us a discount since the hotel referred us and also gave us some chocolates on the way out. It just shows little bits of appreciation, leaves customers with a good feeling. ====== On Tuesday morning, we got a train to Lucca, a town in Tuscany, and made our way to the Airbnb we were staying at with our friend, Ben (a French friend of ours from our time in Singapore who also came in for the wedding).  Here, we realized google maps works without your phone being connected to the internet, talk about a lifesaver! The apartment was inside Lucca's city walls. The town built walls in the 15th century as a means of protection. We met up with Zach and Dana and the rest of their party for lunch near a beautiful church in the center of Lucca. Amanda and I both got bruschetta sandwiches, with the difference here being cheese was melted on the bread and then the tomato topped it off. Yes, that could be considered pizza in my book, and yes, it was delicious. From there, we went with a group from the wedding up to a tower and climbed the steps to get an awesome view of the city. This really is a cool city, and for us, a real respite from the packed tourism areas of Venice and Florence. After strolling back to the apartment, stopping wherever we chose, it was nap time. We met back up with the group for dinner and enjoyed a great evening of food, prosecco and conversation. Traveling is fun, but sharing the experience with others is special. The next day, Ben and I took a nice walk through the city, seeing a street market and just figuring out things as we went. We picked up Amanda for lunch and found a quaint spot on a small street to have pizza and bruschetta. To walk it all off (or at least two bites), we walked through the city and around the city walls. It was just nice and peaceful, and it was fantastic to catch up with Ben. Wednesday night was wedding night. The ceremony was gorgeous, set in a villa overlooking a vineyard. Being a part of a wedding is a blessing in my eyes, as it's a chance to see moments of happiness unlike any others. With only about 50 people or so, the vibe was fantastic. The only downside, towards the middle of the night, I developed a headache. I tried to stick it out, but once 11 o'clock came, that's as much as I could stick around for. Thank goodness the pain subsided shortly after we got back to the apartment. Thursday, we went back to the villa for brunch with the wedding party. Because of the limited amount of people there, it really felt like everyone got to know each other well. Saying goodbye was tough, but we ripped the bandaid off so to say and can look back knowing we had a great experience and met new friends. Next up, train time again, and away to Rome. -------- Walking through Rome is unlike anything I've experienced. You look one way, you have late 19th century buildings, you look the other way, and there's ruins from more than 2,000 years ago. We first got a taste for this by walking from our hotel to dinner in Rome's Jewish Ghetto area. We met up with a friend from our time in Singapore named Lorenzo. He's an Italian, originally from Milan, but has been working in Rome with a documentary production company. Our dinner with Lorenzo and some of his friends was great. The food was nice, but getting to eat with three Italians was the best part. It was cool to hear how they talked to each other, ordered, their passion for the area, etc. Following dinner, Lorenzo played tour guide while walking back to the hotel. He knew so much about the history - very impressive. If someone came to visit me in Houston, I wouldn't be able to do nearly as well. Friday, we started with a walking tour in the morning. It took us from the Spanish Steps over to Saint Peter's Square by the Vatican. The guide pointed out one of the very cool things about Rome, it's a changing city that keeps adding to its history and was never fully abandoned. She showed how in one square, there could be four very different buildings from four different generations with completely different styles. The stand out moment for me on this day was seeing the Pantheon. It's the first domed structure of its type in the world. Incredibly, it is still in extremely good condition 2,000 years later.  The interior is stacked with marble and beautiful tribute areas to two former kings of Rome and Raphael. Truly, this is on the list of most amazing things I've seen in the world. We finished the tour by the Vatican, and of course, you have to be impressed by the size. After people watching for a bit in Saint Peter's Square, we walked back toward the hotel, stopping for lunch.  As we sat down, it started to pour. That felt like a sign that we should take it easy the rest of the day, and so we went back to the hotel and recharged with a nap. For dinner, we met up with Andy and Sierra Clark, two fellow Mizzou grads. They have spent the last year traveling the globe. Truthfully, it is one of the most amazing undertakings. Amanda and I had a hard enough time with two weeks of traveling and organizing, a year seems impossible. It sounds like they've had their trials, but in the end, they've seen things many of us will never get to. Dinner that night was also fun because the manager took a liking to Andy, constantly calling him "Mr. Andrew." Saturday morning, we made our way to the Vatican Museum. The rain hit just as we were standing outside. We tried to wait it out under an awning, but decided to buy a cheap umbrella.  Good thing, because after thinking the rain had passed, down it came again.  Amanda and I squeezed tight under the umbrella - those are the moments traveling brings, a push out of the ordinary. Once inside, we went to the spot where we were going to meet Andy and Sierra, but we couldn't find them and had no way to contact them. We decided to walk into a cafe hoping for wifi and guess who walks in, Andy and Sierra! Maybe miracles do exist inside the Vatican?!? Now that we had our buddies, we made our way through the museum. The place is majestic with artwork from head to toe, literally. In a way, it's a sensory overload. In each square of each room, there's art considered to be some of the best in the history of the world. There's statues, mosaics, busts, paintings, tapestry, ceiling decorations and more. For Amanda and me, the Sisteen Chapel was very impressive, but we didn't feel more blown away than some of the other rooms-it's just incredible. What I struggle with art is, it seems some group has decided what's good and what's not, and now the rest of us have to see it. Like I felt about the David, it's awesome, but why is it better than the sculpture of Hercules in the Vatican? The Sistine Chapel is gorgeous, but why is it so much better than the decorations in the previous three rooms? The one continual truth - what these artists did is remarkable and should be appreciated. From the Vatican, Amanda and I went on a tour that would end at the Colosseum. Unfortunately, the Trevi Fountain is being restored, but we were able to get an idea of how beautiful it is. The Forum area is quite impressive, and then the Colosseum. As a sports fan, of course this is a site to behold. Our stadiums are all built off the example set by the Colosseum. We watched the sunset from a bridge overlooking the structure and then went to dinner. Okay, now time for a dinner description. We'd passed a place each night that seemed to be packed, so we decided to try it. The wait was about thirty minutes, but we could tell this wasn't a place just aimed at tourists. The vibe in the restaurant was really good. I had a glass of prosecco while waiting for the table, and once we got to our table, the meal was worth the wait! Amanda went for an eggplant parmigiana, and I had lasagne. Holy smokes the lasagna. It was the best thing I'd had since the first night in Venice. Seriously, I may not ever order lasagna again because of how good it was. When dessert time came around, we were both full, but hey, this is vacation (plus, we'd walked about 10 miles that day, we'd earned it).  We got the "chocolate salami" - deeeelcious. It was a chocolate fudge with what I believe to be some cookie dough mixed in.  Let's just say, right choice. In the morning, we saw some sites with a local family. My fraternity brother, Jordan, set me up with his cousin, Stefano. Stefano brought along his three kids to show us around the forum area, giving us some great knowledge about the Arch of Titus' Jewish links, and then we also went to a museum's roof to get a birds eye view of Rome. It's a stunning way to see the city from four different directions. From there, we went inside a church, where of course, the decorations are mind blowing - perfect ambiance for the wedding taking place there. By that point, we were very close to the Jewish Ghetto, so Amanda and I said goodbye to Stefano and the kids, and went to Rome's Jewish Museum. The museum did a very nice job showing the roots of the Jews in Rome as well as some modern day aspects. There was a special section to a man who had been Chief Rabbi for about 50 years and passed away earlier this year. For lunch, we stopped in a Kosher hamburger joint called Fonzie. To me, this is the type of place that can succeed as a Kosher place in the U.S.  When you go in, it's not easy to tell it's Kosher. The menu and logo are well designed and trendy. Most of all, the food is really good and reasonably priced. Next, it's time to go to the train station and head to Milan. ----------- By this point in the trip, truthfully, Amanda and I were quite ready to go home. Bouncing from city to city, in and out trains, one hotel to another is fun, but also tiring (yes, it's hard to feel sad for us vacationers, but it's the truth). In Milan, we decided to relax a bit more. Sunday night, we simply went out to dinner and then came back and watched some television. In the morning, we were lucky enough to arrange a meet up with our friend, Chloe. She still lives in Singapore, but was in Milan briefly to watch a Formula 1 race. Our reunion was wonderful. As we'd experienced a couple times on this trip, being able to pick up where you left off with friends is fantastic. We really enjoyed catching up with Chloe and getting updates on Singapore life and the people still there. Of course, it made both of us miss living there, but that's just how it is. Leaving Singapore has been, and always will be tough because of the friends we had to say goodbye to. Enough sap though, getting to see Chloe was the highlight of our Milan visit. After meeting her for breakfast, Amanda and I planned on going on a walking tour. Too bad that like many others expecting the tour, for some reason, no guide showed up. We made the best of the situation, walking with an Australian couple to see a statue of Leonardo Da Vinci, the Galleria shopping area and the Duomo of Milan. This church has one of the most amazing outsides to a building I've seen. Built in gothic style, there seem to be steeples everywhere. From there, we walked around a bit before grabbing a quick lunch at McDonald's. My bad feeling from our first experience in Florence was quickly dissolved as this one had far better service. Yes, I gave in and paid for ketchup - just had to do it. One thing definitely sticking out about Milan, the fashion. Easily, this is the best dressed city I've seen. All the men seemed to wear these fantastic suits. In all reality, I'm glad my life doesn't require suits on a daily basis, but man, it's fun to think about. We got on the train to head out to the airport area. The hotel we were staying at for the night (we had a 6:45  AM flight the next day and the airport isn't close to Milan's center) was about 10 minutes drive from the airport in a small town. What was great is they offered an included car service to get us to and from the airport. For dinner, we found a pizzeria a short walk (along a little farm road, because that's how Amanda and I do) from the hotel. It was very nice and a good final meal in Italy. We went back to the hotel and went to sleep early. That folks, wraps up our Italian journey. Six cities  in 13 days. Final notes: - I love pizza. It's always been my favorite food, and we had pizza 8 times on the trip. The Italian pizza normally has a thin crust, but one of my favorites came in Milan where the restaurant served big slices with a thick crust and plenty of cheese. - Cheese, oh cheese. In addition to pizza, we had three or four caprese salads with delicious mozzarella. It's funny to think that only four years ago, I never had cold cheese. - In some restaurants, our service was excellent, in others we were clearly a nuisance to the staff's very important lives. It was kind of amazing how drastically different some restaurant people were from city to city. Rome's waiters clearly take advantage of not working for tips. - "Beware pickpockets." That message came up every time we bought train tickets. Apparently, it's a pretty big issue. Fortunately, traveling together, Amanda and I are pretty good about looking out for each other. One thing I hated in the train station were people hanging out by the ticket stalls trying to "help." These people are clearly trying to get a tip, or maybe have something else going on to take advantage of tourists. Why isn't there more security staff to keep these people out of the station? - Cigarettes weren't nearly as bad as I'd expected. Yes, people have no problem letting their puffs fly right near your face, but it didn't seem as prevalent as I thought it would. Plus, my expectations were for the hotel rooms to all stink from the smoke, but none did. - We reached Fitbit levels we've never seen before! Amanda and I walked an average of 18,000 steps a day (roughly 9 miles or so). Not sure my body was quite ready for it, as I got blisters on two of my toes, and by the end, my ankles could feel it as well. We just pushed on through though. Come on, had to offset all that pizza! - Last but not least, the name of this blog, selfie sticks. We haven't been in intense tourist areas in a while, because apparently the sale of cheap selfie sticks are everywhere. At every tourist site, men (apparently from Bangladesh a friend said) sell the cheaply made selfie sticks to the all too willing customers. Everywhere you turn, "Selfie stick? Selfie stick, sir?" I get it, everyone needs to make a living, but it can really take away from the trying to let a site sink in. Alright, enough rabble rabble - a great trip overall with lots of friends, food and experiences. Would I have planned a few things better? Absolutely, but that's how traveling goes. Sometimes, the most memorable parts of trips are when things go wrong. Best to just enjoy, ciao!